Journal of Kai
by blitzkreig50889
Summary: Just a oneshot fic I came up with about Kai and the things he went through after losing Dranzer.  Actually better than it sounds.  Please R&R!


Journal of Kai

**July 29, 2005**

I'm always seen as an anti-social beyblader who doesn't have the sense to take what's given to him. Let me explain. Today I had a fairly good day. No one pestered me and I was left pretty much alone, exactly like I would like to be. At least until my teammates returned.

OK. Let me back up a little. I'll even start from the beginning. My name is Kaiori Alexander Aries James Hiwatari. I'm the sole heir of Biovolt industries and everything that goes with it despite my wishes. I'm a world champion beyblader who is a part of the G Revolutions and Blitzkrieg Boys. And yet despite this I have this awful feeling that people hate me for just being me.

OK, that probably makes no sense whatsoever, but then again, most of what I have to say doesn't make sense to people. Even Tala, my best friend in the whole wide world is beginning to worry about me. I've never acted like this before. Never have I felt I'm alone like I am now. Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy being a loner, that's who I am; it's just that I feel lonely for some odd reason. Obviously so even, because Tala literally ordered me to start keeping a journal of all my thoughts and feelings. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for his sake, but now I'm not so sure.

Maybe that doesn't sound right. After all, if I were you and had just read what I'd wrote I'd think I was suicidal or something. I'm not. You can believe that. It doesn't matter how lonely I feel, I'll never try and take my life…or at least I hope so anyway. Surely my friends won't let me get that far. Dranzer would probably try to strangle me if he was here.

Dranzer. Man, how I miss him. He was my closest friend and for a time my only one. Stupid Brooklyn. Why did he have to go and be so hard to beat? I wouldn't have lost Dranzer if I would have just battled Garland instead of him. But no…I had to go and let my stupid assed pride get in the way of everything.

I sigh. I mean, think about it. I'm where I am today because I was too stupid to just think things though and remember what they could do to my friends. Damn. I don't think this is going to work Tala! I'm only feeling worse!

Can't anyone see that I need help? Can't they see I need someone to fill this hole that's worked its way into my heart? Can't anyone see that I need them? Please, someone, help me!

Kai

**July 3****0, 2005**

Another day, another person overlooks me. I just can't get this nagging feeling out of my head. I'm far too lonely. I've never been lonely like this before. I'm beginning to hate it. It's odd, but true at the same time.

Tala came looking for me again today. He yelled at me although for what I can't remember. He seemed pretty upset, which is odd for him. He rarely ever shows emotion, or at least not like he did today. He was so angry! I guess I can just be glad Wolborg wasn't around or I'd probably be a frozen Popsicle, not that I wouldn't have minded at this point.

OK, that probably sounded freaky. Damn, I so need to find someone to talk to. This loneliness is beginning to kill me!

Dranzer, where are you? I need you so can't you please come back even if only for a little while? I sigh. Life's became nearly unbearable since I've lost him. I don't want to even live any more. Even Tyson's started to notice my change in attitude.

This misery's beginning to kill me. I don't know how much more of it I can take. Please won't someone reach out to me and take away this loneliness? Please?!

Kai

**July 31, 2005**

Misery, misery, misery, and more misery. When will it all stop? Please, isn't there someone out there who can care for me or at least let me care for them? The pain of this loneliness is actually going to kill me if I don't come up with a way to get out of this.

I sigh. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I keep waiting for Tala, Tyson, or even one of the others to just hit me upside the head. Tyson probably would if he knew I wouldn't kill him for it. As it is, he doesn't know right at the moment.

Yikes! Gotta go! Tala just walked in. If he sees I've taken him serious about this journal stuff he's going to end up singing. I'm not sure if that would be good or bad but I don't want to find out. Besides, if he reads this he'll probably think I'm beginning to feel better about things. I'm not, so I don't want to delude him.

Oops! I've just been caught. I actually want to laugh. You know what? I'm going to. After all, Tala seems to have something on his mind, so if we're feeling the same, maybe our friendship that was falling apart will manage to survive. Sad part is, he's watching me type this. starts laughing Hmm. Yep, I definitely feel better. Thanks Tals!

Oops! Don't kill me! How was I supposed to know you didn't want to be called by one of your many nicknames any more? Sheesh! Well, outta here!

Kai

**August 1, 2005**

I feel so…well…excited I guess is the word I'm looking for. Tala's decided to drag me with him everywhere to keep my head clear. Normally, I'd try to kill him, but I just don't seem to care anymore. After all, if he helps keep the loneliness at bay I could care less.

Wait a minute. Now that I think about it Tala said he wanted me to meet someone. Hmm. That's odd. I wonder what he meant by that. After all, he doesn't usually tell people he wants them to meet someone.

Oh God! Please tell me he isn't trying to set me up with someone! That blader can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, especially when he's trying to make people happy.

Oops! Gotta go. I was supposed to meet Tala ten minutes ago. He just better hope he knows what he's doing.

Kai

**August 2, 2005**

Well, I guess I should've known Tala would try something. Damn idgit decided he was going to go and set me up with someone. Sad part about that though is that he usually succeeds in getting people to like each other. Must be his damn family heirloom of an ability he got from his family.

Wait a minute. Come to think of it, Tala's always been able to do that, but yet he never tries to help himself. He's always helping everyone else. First Bryan. Then Ian and Spencer. He even managed to help the Majestics out. And now me! Damn that's terrifying! But then again, that's just what Tala does.

Come to think of it, we all have strange abilities. Bryan can manage to find things without actually knowing what they look like. Ian can bring a smile to a person's face no matter what he does or how he/she is feeling. I wonder how they do that? Spencer can talk to ocean animals as if it were nothing. But then again, he doesn't usually know he's doing that. Tala can get people to fall in love. And me, well, I can heal disasters.

OK, I had probably better explain that part. What I mean when I say I heal disasters is that I stop things from falling apart. If a city has been destroyed I fix it. No, not physically, but mentally. If someone's heart's been broken, I fix that too. If a person breaks a bone, all I have to do is look at it and it heals. Seriously, it gets a little freaky watching that happen.

What the…? Who would be knocking on the door at this time of the night? It's two in the morning! Never mind. Tala's at the door. I wonder what he wants. Guess I better go and find out before he breaks down the door. Later.

Kai

**August 3 2005**

Sighs what an awful day! That dreaded loneliness was back and now it's even worse than it was before. How the fuck am I supposed to get rid of it?! It's getting infuriating!

OK, enough of that Kai. Snap out of it and calm down. There, that's better. Damn do I hate when I get like that. Oh, well, that's boredom for you.

Actually, no, I'm wrong there. That's some undefined emotion for you that comes from a weird girl that Tala decides to stick you with. Actually me with, but I think you go the point all the same.

Damnit! What is with people and knocking on doors when you tell them to let you alone? Whoever's at the door had better have a good reason for annoying me or they're so going to regret it.

Kai

**August 4, 2005**

Could things get any worse? I mean think about it. Ashley, the girl Tala tried to set me up with thinks she's in love with me. Just the idea of love scares me and disgusts me. OK, I'm lying but who's going to know that unless they get a hold of my computer?

Hmm. Better not let this get out to anyone. Anyway, now I've got this obsessed girl following me everywhere. OK, she's not obsessed but still, the least she could do is try and give me a little space. I'm not used to people telling me they love me. It's terrifying especially since everyone that's told me that has come to betray me. I wouldn't be able to handle betrayal from another person especially now that Dranzer's gone.

Damnit! I've been doing so well at trying to forget him. Oh, why do I bother? I'll never forget him. Argh! How I wish I could go back in time and destroy Biovolt for making me like this! Still, I can't and I guess I'll just have to take everything that's thrown at me in stride.

Tala's been pestering me again. Damn idiot's even pounding on my door right now. He knows I'm here and eventually he'll get annoyed and break down the door like he usually does when it's locked and I don't answer it. Sounds like he's got Bryan, Spencer, Ian, and…Tyson? Well, now that's a surprise.

There goes the door. Guess I better put this away and quickly before my bedroom door goes next. Laterz.

Kai

**August 5, 2005**

OK, Tala you are so dead! Out of my room now. Out! No, you cannot stay here and watch over me. Go find yourself someone else to pester.

Tala leaves OK, maybe that was a little harsh, but still he didn't have to literally be leaning over my shoulder. And for that matter he didn't have to be reading what I've been writing here thus far. OK, maybe I was a little harsh about that too. After all, I was supposed to let him read what I'd written occasionally. Too bad I'd forgotten that until now though.

Jeez, do I ever ache! Tyson and Max have got to learn to stop trying to kill themselves when they beyblade. I don't think I'll be able to repair any more severed limbs. OK, just kidding, but still they're rough when they blade. I'm surprised their bit beasts are still in one piece. Oh well. That's Dragoon and Draciel for you. They never know when their bodies and blades for that matter have had enough. I guess that's what makes them so strong.

Stop that Kai. You're just as good as they are. Oh, who am I kidding? Ever since I've lost Dranzer I've been a horrible blader. I can't even hit a target anymore. Max can beat me so easily now. At least Ian hasn't managed to beat me yet, but it probably won't be long before he figures out how to.

OK, enough of the sad shit that's happened. You need to think positive Kai. And you also need to stop talking to yourself. People are going to think you're crazy if they don't already.

Ahh! Gotta go! Kenny is so going to kill me for being late. Tala too. Actually, Tala's just going to lecture me for about half an hour about why it is I can be late but he can't. Kenny however, is going to probably try and separate my head from my shoulders. Actually to be more exact, more ears from my head.

Well, outta here. I'd still like to keep all my body parts today.

Kai

**August 6, 2005**

Attempts not to jump around in joy but fails I'm so happy! Ahh! That's a scary thought. Oh well, at least it's a scary thought that I happen to like.

OK, guess I had better explain, huh? It's simple actually. Dranzer's back! Jumps out of chair and jumps around yelling at the top of his lungs. OK, enough of that. I keep that up Dranzer's going to fry me. Lol!

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not going to be able to shut up. Oh, that's scary. Tyson you had better knock off the influence shit again!

OK, maybe I'm kidding there too, but who's going to know that? OK, OK Dranzer, I get the point. Jeez, you would think he was going to go nuts on me. Well, he did return to me a little rough looking. I guess I could calm down a little before he takes off on me again. Wait, Dranzer's not going to do that Kai and you know it!

Hmm. I've really got to come up with a better way to get things off of my chest besides talking to myself. If Tala or Tyson walk in they'll probably think I've lost it. But then again, that isn't exactly anything new.

Alright, let me explain. Everything started today at around noon. I'd been beyblading Tala and was losing like usual. Naturally I wasn't in the best of moods, so I didn't think anything of it when Tala punched me. I figured I deserved it. However, someone else disagreed with me. Dranzer, who had been working at getting up enough strength to get back to me, happened to be within my vicinity. He felt Tala's punch to my face in particularly my nose, but who cares where he hit me just that he did and literally tried to fry him.

OK, Dranzer, you didn't try to fry him but it sure looked like you wanted to!

Anyway, Dranzer tried to get revenge for me. I could've cared less that Tala had hit me, but I did care that Dranzer looked like he wanted to kill Tala for hitting me. After all, he had been keeping me sane since I'd beaten Brooklyn in the Justice Five Tournament and had lost Dranzer. Anyway, at about that time Dragoon, Draciel, and Driger decided to make sure he didn't hit Tala. Thank God they have good reflexes.

Dranzer, shut up! You know as well as I do that you weren't happy Tala had hit me to get my head cleared.

Anyway, they made sure Tala escaped unharmed from Dranzer's attack. As for me, well I just stood there with my mouth hanging open in shock, getting a few well deserved pokes from Ian. Can't say that I blame him considering how I must have looked. Still, I was standing there, mouth hanging open. Dranzer, obviously still pissed at Tala turned around and glared at me before proceeding to ask me why I hadn't went looking for him.

Now, if you've ever been in a situation where you've had a bit beast ask why you haven't looked for them it can get pretty awkward. After all, I definitely wasn't expecting him. To be honest, I hadn't even realized he'd returned to the living edge of his world. If you've read anything about phoenixes you'll know what I mean. Just follow the whole rebirth from the ashes stuff.

Anyway, after staring at him for about twenty minutes and it was actually about two minutes, but it felt like it was that long I finally let out a whoop. Now, if you know me you know I don't jump around for joy or do anything really outrageous. Well, I broke that rule today. I just let out a very loud uncharacteristic whoop and literally hugged Dranzer to death. Then I proceed to pick up my blade and literally run into the dojo to find Tyson. Needless to say, Tala looked as if he'd seen a ghost and Ian, who had been standing next to me when I acted oddly at seeing Dranzer again, nearly got ran over by Dranzer who was attempting to follow me through the dojo. Thank God Ian had good reflexes at that moment.

Within the space of about three seconds and yes I'm serious I found Tyson and literally hugged the shit out of him. Tyson looked as if he was going to faint and Kenny started to panic and ask me questions to see if I was OK. He quickly got an answer when he saw Dranzer come flying into the room at seventy miles an hour. Needless to say, I wasn't the only one celebrating once Dranzer managed to finally get me to calm down and stop speaking at seventy miles an hour. Tyson was at that point laughing like crazy. Not that I could blame him. I probably looked ridiculous since I was covered in mud to my knees and my hair looked like it had wings thanks to Dranzer of course. either way, I still ended up joining him and the others in the end. Laughter is such a great medicine for an aching heart.

Man, does it feel good to type that! Sorry Dranz, but I've got to do this. Jumps out of chair and jumps around the room again yelling at the top of his lungs. Well, enough of this. I'm going to go find Ashley. I've no clue why, but then again, I did promise her she could meet Dranzer when I found him again. I hope she doesn't mind a three in the morning house call. Smiles to self before saving entry and reaching for a phone.

Kai

**August 7**** 2005**

Tala I am so going to hug you for this! Who would've thought your journal idea would work so well? Too bad I don't have much time to write all my thoughts down. I actually plan to be on time to tell people…well…things. OK that so sounds mushy.

Oh, and by the way, somehow I've managed to get myself a girlfriend. Tala, I'm not sure if I'm going to hug you or try to kill you. Maybe I'll manage to figure it out before I run into you in about ten minutes.

Yikes! I have got to go now! Don't kill me people! Laterz!

Kai

**August 8, 2005**

OK, as you can obviously tell I'm in a better and very random mood. Haha! Who would've thought Dranzer's return and getting a girlfriend could make such a difference? Not me! I feel sooooooo crazily happy! Thank God I haven't gone insane yet…or at least I hope not anyway.

Ashley's cool now that I've given myself time to get to know her. She's definitely not some crazy obsessed fan girl that decided she was going to follow me around in hopes I'd notice her. I guess I got Tala to thank for that. Looks like you win this one too Tala!

Oh, well. I can tell Tala's happy that I'm back to normal. Too bad he's now in the gutter. I'm definitely going to help him out. After all, he helped me out. Sorry Tal, but you're not going to help me then walk away as if nothing happened. You're not pulling a-Kai-day on me. Not ever if I have anything to say about things! Only I can do that!

Hmm, now how am I going to go about helping him? He doesn't have a girlfriend not that he needs one at the moment…he's too much of a player; just kidding Tala! and Wolborg's not feeling kinky or anything. Let's see, that would leave…ah-ha! Too bad I can't write down what just came to mind. Tala's supposed to read this soon. Lol!

Man, does it feel good to be back to normal! No more loneliness, no sir-ee!

Kai

**August 9, 2005**

Boy do I ever feel random! Who knows, maybe I'll start to sing or something. Man, that's a scary thought as I only sing when I feel extremely happy.

OK. I guess I had better explain what's going on, huh? Well, first off, Tala's back to normal now. I must've did something right see last entry if confused even if answer isn't truly there. Ian's managing to make everyone laugh and get along. Even Bryan doesn't feel like trying to kill him like he usually does. It looks like Ian got himself a lucky week. Haha! Let's see….what else did I want to write about? Oh, yeah, I remember! But the question is this: if I write everything down will Tyson kill me if he ever gets a chance to read this?

Oh well. I'm going to write everything down anyway. OK, maybe not since I just forgot what I was going to write. Anyway, as you can obviously tell, everyone's doing well. Well, almost everyone. Max hasn't been in top form lately but that's only because he's sick, and Tala's started to get weird on me again.

Just for your information, I happen to be outside writing this in plain view of everyone around me. That's the only reason I know something's wrong with Tala. Oh, great. Here comes Mr. Arrogant. Hey, Dranz, would you mind telling Salamolyon to keep his master in check? Thanks! There, that should take care of things…hopefully.

OK. So that didn't work. Johnny's looking pissed and something is definitely annoying the shit out of Enrique and Oliver. Man, those two are freaky with their mood swings. Shudders. Oh, just my luck. Robert's decided he's going to come over and talk to me. Just what I don't need. Oh, well, guess I'll just have to finish things up later. And I will be back!

Two hours later…

Ugh! Robert has so got to learn when to shut up! I know my earlier battles were pathetic. I'm going to fix them now that I've got Dranzer back. Sheesh! Then adding to the insult is Johnny. Obviously Dranzer decided not to let Salamolyon know that he was back. He had just better have a good reason for it. Johnny pestered me for at least half an hour before I was finally able to get someone to get his attention and get him away from me. Add to that Enrique quarreling with Oliver about something dealing with girls and you've got yourself one major headache. At least they seemed to cheer Tala up a little not that it seems to matter any now.

OK. I guess I had better go back to him huh? After all, he was going to be my topic before the Majestics showed up. Rotten little jerks imagines self strangling Majestics. Oh, well, if Tyson can manage to put them in their place by soundly kicking their ass's in a beyblade match then I can at least handle any insults they throw at me by giving them a few back. Imagine their surprise when they see me back to normal…cackles then coughs. OK, I have so got to stop doing that!

OK, I'll be honest. I'm not actually cackling but hey, it's fun to pretend sometimes. Stupid randomness! Oh, well, at least maybe my random edge will cheer poor Tala up. He looks awful! Looks like it's Tyson to the rescue again! Haha! Tala is so going to hit me upside the head when he reads this. Oh, well, that's what happens when he lets Tyson walk up to him and literally drag him to a lake to be tossed in. At least Tala's not brooding anymore.

Oh, what the fuck! Go randomness! Haha! Sorry Tala, but you were pretty funny. Too bad you'll smell to high heavens later. Uh-oh! Gotta run! I've got a major Ian alert on the radar screen. I can't let him see Tala managed to talk me into keeping a journal. Well, later!

Kai

**July 29,****2007**

Sorry it's been so long since I've managed to get back here. I guess an update is in order.

Since my problems back in 2005 things have gotten better. A lot better. Tyson, Ray, Max, Tala, Bryan, Ian, Spencer, Robert, Johnny, Enrique, Oliver, Michael, and I have all gotten ourselves girlfriends, mostly thanks to Tala of course! Although, Ashley got Tala his girlfriend. Ashley beat you there Tala! Haha!

Anyway, everyone's pretty happy. It turns out Tala was suffering from the same thing I was. Loneliness can be such a fucking pain in the ass, but at least it makes everyone grow stronger…I think.

Ian's been knocked literally head over heels by his girlfriend Rysa. Looks like someone finally met his match, huh Ian? Lol!

Bryan's back with Sierra. Yeah, I said back with her. You look soooo cute you two and I'm not the only one who thinks that either! The two were sweethearts back at Biovolt just like Tala and Jasmine were. Oops! I'm jumping ahead. Oh well, guess I had better talk about Tala now since I blew things.

Tala's with Jasmine now. The two used to meet all the time when they were in Biovolt. Too bad they didn't realize they were in love until almost too late. Anyway, they're together now and that's what matters most. At least Biovolt did have one good use for Tala and Bryan. wink, wink!

Spencer's with his girlfriend now, although, like Ian, he's only been with her for a couple of weeks. Way to go Spencer and Savannah! Spence and Sav of course for short! Don't try and kill me for that either! They're rarely ever apart.

Max and Miriam finally got themselves together. Way to go Maxie! I knew you could do it. Miriam has been so happy since she and Max got together it's almost ridiculous. At least they love each other though!

Ray and Mariah of course are together. Thank you Ray for keeping her from trying to kill me there when you got hurt. Trust me, Tala and I definitely did not want to lose any lower body parts…lol! They're one awesome couple though; I have definitely got to admit that. As for you Mariah, who would've thought you could turn out to be one of the best female friends I could ever have. Never forget our tag team attack with Jonathan and Salamolyon known as Volcanic Tempest.

Tyson's with Hilary, although those two can be scary sometimes with their devotion to one another. Oh, well, as Ashley says, if it works, or blows your skirt up, use it. Weird phrase I know but it usually fits most occasions.

Michael from the AllStars is with his girlfriend Skylark, or Sky for short. Sky may be Russian, but Michael sure knew what he was doing when he worked hard to get her attention. Their love for one another is off the charts.

Then there are the Majestics. Yeah, the pain in the ass jerks as I called them two years ago. Maybe I would've been better off keeping my mouth shut until I got to know them. They're actually pretty cool…surprisingly.

Johnny, the hot head of the group, now goes by the name of Jonathan, his full name instead of his nickname like he had been two years ago. I guess I'll have to thank his girlfriend Cassandra, or Cass for short for fixing that problem. Thanks!

Enrique's finally settled down and stopped being such a player. Samantha's such a sweetheart! You better treat her right cousin or there will be no more Enrique Giancarlo! I hate when guys treat girls like shit and you'll be no exception if you do the same.

Oliver has stopped being overly prissy. Yeah, I know that sounds cruel but he was. At least now he acts normal and has gotten down off his high-horse. I guess I should thank his girlfriend Julia and no not Julia Fernandez either…Oliver hates her. This is a different Julia. Thanks Julia!

Robert's been lucky too. Yeah, the annoying, talk-for-hours Robert managed to find himself a girlfriend. I guess I had better thank his girlfriend Celina for that although how she got the nickname of Celine I don't know. Thanks Celina! You and Robert are one cool couple and I mean that.

And well, of course there's me. Yep, me, Kai Hiwatari, the blader who thought he was going to be lonely for the rest of his life when he started this. I'm still with Ashley of course, although there were times where neither of us thought we were going to pull our relationship through. We did it though and now we're working on getting the others together. As in family together if that clarifies things any.

Anyway, Tyson's still world champion although Dranzer and I think we can beat him this year. Hopefully luck will be with us. I know the Blitzkrieg Boys will be extremely happy if I can give them the victory they want. Man, do I ever have to thank them for accepting me into their ranks for life. You guys are the best friends a guy could have and yes I am too serious Ian, Bryan, Spencer, and Tala!

Well, I gotta go for now. Who knows when I'll next get back here? After all, I was gone for nearly two years. Oh well, that's what happens when the notebook you were using as a journal up and disappears before you can manage to put everything you wrote on a computer coughIancough

Anyway, outta here! Laterz!

Kaiori Alexander Aries James Hiwatari


End file.
